Hi there everyone!
We are home and it is 3am! We just had breakfast. We tried to get the kids to sleep but after trying from midnight to 3am we finally gave it up and just decided that they will stay up all day again today and try to figure out this day night thing. At midnight here it was 4pm there. It is 7pm in China now.
The flights went good. The flight from Guangzhou to Tokyo was 4hrs and packed but the flight from Tokyo to Portland was pretty empty and we claimed 2 rows so that the kids could sleep. Taylor slept 3hrs and Sarah on 1 1/2 (too much noise). Boy it was nice to have all that room, thank you Lord!
Sarah was overwhelmed at first. She rubs her feet together when she is having a hard time. She did good on the 1 1/2 hr ride home. She fell asleep about 30minutes in to it (so did Taylor). She doesn't like Sydney (dog) yet and tries to hit Sydney and Hunter (cat) and yells at them. She was really excited when she saw the snow! She squealed for a couple minutes about it. We took her on a tour and she knows where everything is and is starting to get comfortable with where things are. She did not want to sleep in her room and nap but she slept in her bed for a couple hrs this evening (with me). I'm glad we took a couple toys from here; I think they are her comfort toys here.
She is not sure what to think about all the new people. We went to Chinese to see our friend Kelly and also because I didn't want to cook. Sarah held tight and didn't want to look at anyone. We had to go to the store for groceries and she finally got down then and ran around a bit. The language should be the hard part. I am going to really try to get Taylor involved in that one to teach her. We have Dr appointments to make and several other things to do. Lets hope the time change thing happens soon. Sarah has those spots on her tongue again. Taylor and I don't feel that well. He has a cough and a sore throat and I have a sore throat and some body aches. All is well we are home and we made it through China without health issues! Thank you Lord!
OK I think we are going to try the bed thing again soon. Lets hope it works. Have a great day. -Becky
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Merry Christmas!
Hi everyone!
It is Christmas here so Merry Christmas! We don't feel like it is Christmas though. I think it is because we wold rather be with you all. they do decorate here and it's funny that the Chinese people come to the hotel to take pictures because it is decorated. The restaurants were so busy last night that we couldn't get dinner! the TV had Christmas songs on and they even left in "Christ the Lord" that has been nice. Every devotion of mine has been about contentment and enjoying the blessings of struggle; can you tell that I needed it.
Here are things we are glad we brought or wish we would have. When I get back I'll add this to our elements and update it as I think of new things!
1) Little detergent packets. We washed 1/2 a load and that was 36 dollars US!
2) love the picnic stuff we brought for her to play with.
3) DVD player with TV attachment the kids and us love to watch movies that we like.
4) WISH I HAD BROUGHT MY OWN LAPTOP!!!
OK got to go. Merry Christmas- Becky
It is Christmas here so Merry Christmas! We don't feel like it is Christmas though. I think it is because we wold rather be with you all. they do decorate here and it's funny that the Chinese people come to the hotel to take pictures because it is decorated. The restaurants were so busy last night that we couldn't get dinner! the TV had Christmas songs on and they even left in "Christ the Lord" that has been nice. Every devotion of mine has been about contentment and enjoying the blessings of struggle; can you tell that I needed it.
Here are things we are glad we brought or wish we would have. When I get back I'll add this to our elements and update it as I think of new things!
1) Little detergent packets. We washed 1/2 a load and that was 36 dollars US!
2) love the picnic stuff we brought for her to play with.
3) DVD player with TV attachment the kids and us love to watch movies that we like.
4) WISH I HAD BROUGHT MY OWN LAPTOP!!!
OK got to go. Merry Christmas- Becky
Friday, December 21, 2007
Yeah I am getting another chance to blog via our friends computer. It is about 15 dollars for 20minutes with the hotel computer. So thanks to the Mears for letting me invade their room to write to you!
So today was a good day. We went to Shaman (spelling?) island today and shopped. We went to the White Swan Hotel and took red couch pictures. The kids did farly well with no naps. It was just nice to get out and walk around and hang out with a few adults. We also had fun going to eat at Lucy's and I found spaghetti here! I have had as much slimy chicken with the head attached as I can handle right now and although we brought about 30 snack bars we are running short already.
Sarah is doing well. You can pray she sleeps better tonight. The last 3 nights she has been waking up for 1-2 hours crying; it's hard to figure out what she needs last night it was socks, a drink, and she didn't like her pull up. She calls us mama and baba (Chinese mom and dad). She talks very soft so it's hard to understand her. She says hi and bye very well and is learning thank you. She loves to color and play with the kitchen stuff that I brought with me. Taylor and Sarah play picnic. Taylor has been a great big brother for the most part. the only times that are hard are when he wants to touch her and hug her; she doesn't like him to touch her.
Sarah seems healthy. Her tounge was gross when we got here. Even the pediatrican that is in the group said she didn't know what it was. It was yellow and white and bumpy. It didn't look or smell like yeast but it was gross. She had bumps on her arms and ears that she would scratch and everything is better and almost gone. She weighed 24-25lbs per the scale here. Her 2t and 3t pants fall to the ground. I found some pants here that have drawstrings that fit. Kim, that blue flower dress that is a small 2t fits her! I alomost didn't bring it because it was so small. She is tall though. Everyone here says she is tall for a southern Chinese girl.
Thad and I are trying to not count the days to come home. It's ruff being here with 2 toddlers. We feel blessed that Sarah is doing so well. Oh here is a funny one. Everyone says to layer the kids. This is their winter. So we keep Sarah in long sleeves. Taylor loves the pool. It's 70 degrees and feels really cold. It takes me 10 minutes to get in. So I got in with Taylor and Sarah wanted in. I thought she would freak out but she loved it! The Chinese people got mad at us I think but she loved it I hated to her her cry that she wanted in and not let her try. She laughed so hard when we put her in. She even snorted!
So tomorrow is a paper work day again. Monday is Sarah's health inspection. Tues is Christmas and we don't know what we will do. Maybe I will have another break down cry day ( the first one was yesterday) just home sick! Wed we have consulate appointments and Thurs is our swearing in ceremony. Friday we come home! can you tell I am excited to come home?
Not sure what else to write. I have to get going since I left Thad alone with the kids in the hotel room. I'll post some pictures too.
See you in a week. -Becky
So today was a good day. We went to Shaman (spelling?) island today and shopped. We went to the White Swan Hotel and took red couch pictures. The kids did farly well with no naps. It was just nice to get out and walk around and hang out with a few adults. We also had fun going to eat at Lucy's and I found spaghetti here! I have had as much slimy chicken with the head attached as I can handle right now and although we brought about 30 snack bars we are running short already.
Sarah is doing well. You can pray she sleeps better tonight. The last 3 nights she has been waking up for 1-2 hours crying; it's hard to figure out what she needs last night it was socks, a drink, and she didn't like her pull up. She calls us mama and baba (Chinese mom and dad). She talks very soft so it's hard to understand her. She says hi and bye very well and is learning thank you. She loves to color and play with the kitchen stuff that I brought with me. Taylor and Sarah play picnic. Taylor has been a great big brother for the most part. the only times that are hard are when he wants to touch her and hug her; she doesn't like him to touch her.
Sarah seems healthy. Her tounge was gross when we got here. Even the pediatrican that is in the group said she didn't know what it was. It was yellow and white and bumpy. It didn't look or smell like yeast but it was gross. She had bumps on her arms and ears that she would scratch and everything is better and almost gone. She weighed 24-25lbs per the scale here. Her 2t and 3t pants fall to the ground. I found some pants here that have drawstrings that fit. Kim, that blue flower dress that is a small 2t fits her! I alomost didn't bring it because it was so small. She is tall though. Everyone here says she is tall for a southern Chinese girl.
Thad and I are trying to not count the days to come home. It's ruff being here with 2 toddlers. We feel blessed that Sarah is doing so well. Oh here is a funny one. Everyone says to layer the kids. This is their winter. So we keep Sarah in long sleeves. Taylor loves the pool. It's 70 degrees and feels really cold. It takes me 10 minutes to get in. So I got in with Taylor and Sarah wanted in. I thought she would freak out but she loved it! The Chinese people got mad at us I think but she loved it I hated to her her cry that she wanted in and not let her try. She laughed so hard when we put her in. She even snorted!
So tomorrow is a paper work day again. Monday is Sarah's health inspection. Tues is Christmas and we don't know what we will do. Maybe I will have another break down cry day ( the first one was yesterday) just home sick! Wed we have consulate appointments and Thurs is our swearing in ceremony. Friday we come home! can you tell I am excited to come home?
Not sure what else to write. I have to get going since I left Thad alone with the kids in the hotel room. I'll post some pictures too.
See you in a week. -Becky
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
We are in China
Not sure if this will work we will see. I have been trying to update several times and I think I just found a back door we will see.
Beijing was great. We were tired and had allot to do. the first day we got in at 9pm and slept (as much as we could) then the next day we went to the old Beijing area. It was great . We went to a child care center and other places. We road in Rickshaws which was fun. The next day we went to the Forbidden City and the Summer Place. The next day we went to the great wall. One of the ladies watched Taylor while Thad and I went up. Wow what a climb.
The next day we came to Guangzhou and got Sarah. She is beautiful and was ready for us. She had her blanket and care package that we sent to her. We had sent it ourselves to the orphanage and we were worried that she wouldn't get it. She warmed up right away.
She loves to dance. Her lip looks great. She is sleeping good and ate a ton last night. Ok I have to go. time to go to the police station to get passport stuff.
Have a great day and a great Christmas if I don't get to update again, I will try! _Becky
Praise the Lord he has taken care of us so much. We are so thankful.
Beijing was great. We were tired and had allot to do. the first day we got in at 9pm and slept (as much as we could) then the next day we went to the old Beijing area. It was great . We went to a child care center and other places. We road in Rickshaws which was fun. The next day we went to the Forbidden City and the Summer Place. The next day we went to the great wall. One of the ladies watched Taylor while Thad and I went up. Wow what a climb.
The next day we came to Guangzhou and got Sarah. She is beautiful and was ready for us. She had her blanket and care package that we sent to her. We had sent it ourselves to the orphanage and we were worried that she wouldn't get it. She warmed up right away.
She loves to dance. Her lip looks great. She is sleeping good and ate a ton last night. Ok I have to go. time to go to the police station to get passport stuff.
Have a great day and a great Christmas if I don't get to update again, I will try! _Becky
Praise the Lord he has taken care of us so much. We are so thankful.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Count down!.....
Here we go...to China (and this is a long one again. the last before we fly)
I'm settling into the idea that we are leaving in 3 days (we'll 2 1/2 days). I know that sounds silly but really it still sometimes feels like it's not going to happen. We've had lots to do: update the will (per my father-in-laws advice) this is always a fun thing to do; pack and repack; run to the store for last minute "we ran out of detergent"; Christmas parties (yes we did fit in 2); celebrate Christmas with Thad and Taylor (this last Sat); meet up with the gal who is house sitting; charge all the batteries; oh and clean the house of course cause who wants to do that when they get home right?
This week had so many wonderful "thank you God" moments. A nice guy named Bill called this week. They got back a couple of weeks ago with their little one from China and live here in The Dalles. We talked and he asked, "do you have kids and are you taking them?" I said, "Yes Taylor 4 yrs old". He continued to say that the people who had kids with them on their trip seemed to have a quicker bonding time with their new little ones. Thank you Lord. Also I help with scheduling teachers at church. I had 2 "can't do it" calls and these were situations either while we were gone or right after we get back. I prayed right then (to be honest I have a bad habit of trying to make calls first then if I strike out I pray in desperation after the fact). One prayer I prayed right after talking with the gal. The Lord answered literally as I turned around after praying. Do you ever get that feeling where you feel God is literally carrying you through something. I'm so thankful right now. Remind me later I'm sure I'll need it.
Ok I'm tyring not to seem weird (not sure how else to put that) to some of you but please bear with me; this is how life is for me right now and I want to share it. I'm ok if you think I'm crazy.
This adoption process is helping me to see myself differently in regards to how God sees me. Let me try to explain. We love Sarah. We know we wont always hit the mark of meeting her needs exactly. She will know we love her. We love her in spite of the fact that she will probably come to us feeling hurt, sad, and maybe come kicking and screaming; we hope our hearts are ready for whatever. We will love her. We will be patient if she doesn't like us right away. It will be hard but we will. She wont even understand our language but we will try to teach her slowly.
Ok so how does this relate to seeing myself differently? I had to ask myself today, "If we love Sarah this much...why do I sometimes question how much God cares for, is patient, loves, etc me?"
Really think about it. You, think about adopting a little one. You know they come to you with experiences that you have no control over. You choose them even though you know they may need surgery or have emotional challenges to work through. You want the best for them. Ok so you would love them right? So God adopts us right? I believe the bible is Gods word and it says He "adopts" us: with our hurts and challenges. Not when we "get it right" but when we cry out and say "god forgive me. I can't live without you. I need you. I can't get it right. Help me.
So here is where things are hitting me.
I do question sometimes how deep His love is for me; His intentions for me; His patience with me. He knows I come with baggage. He knows I really have a hard time understanding His language sometimes. He knows that sometimes I just am not going to trust.
Do we really think so highly of ourselves that we think that as parents we can love our kids when they don't trust us but that God doesn't have it in Him? Do we think sometimes that if we would have done something differently that God would "love" us more or "approve" of us more? Can we earn that? Do my kids have to earn that? If they don't earn my love then why do I sometimes feel that I have to earn Gods love? I know I say I don't think that but do I live that? Do I live in the freedom that I am accepted in full because of the faith/trust that "Christ died for sinners" that "if I confess my sins His is faithful and just to forgive me my sins and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness." 1 Jn 1:9 (inserted "I" for "we" in that quote)
Maybe I sometimes feel "far away from God" not because I am not doing things "for" Him but because like parents it's a relationship. It's communication. We come to our parents with our hurts, hopes and talk to them about that stuff (if we have a close connection with them). Sometimes I think that is what I lack with God: not communicating with Him. If I would stop doing things for Him and just talk to Him and LISTEN to Him I would understand better why things are the way they are.
He is so much a better parent. He truly loves us without condition. He provided the price for our "wrongness" inside us; such a gift; to give up a son: Christmas, Emmanuel: God with us. Could you give up a child to save the lives of other people? Would you? Honestly not me, I just don't think I would be able to. Do we still question His intentions for us? He is patient with us. He "causes all things to work for good."Romans 8:28. Thank you Father for being the best parent ever.
" Romans 8:15 "For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons (daughters) by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!"
He is the "Bestest" adoptive parent ever ever ever!
I'm settling into the idea that we are leaving in 3 days (we'll 2 1/2 days). I know that sounds silly but really it still sometimes feels like it's not going to happen. We've had lots to do: update the will (per my father-in-laws advice) this is always a fun thing to do; pack and repack; run to the store for last minute "we ran out of detergent"; Christmas parties (yes we did fit in 2); celebrate Christmas with Thad and Taylor (this last Sat); meet up with the gal who is house sitting; charge all the batteries; oh and clean the house of course cause who wants to do that when they get home right?
This week had so many wonderful "thank you God" moments. A nice guy named Bill called this week. They got back a couple of weeks ago with their little one from China and live here in The Dalles. We talked and he asked, "do you have kids and are you taking them?" I said, "Yes Taylor 4 yrs old". He continued to say that the people who had kids with them on their trip seemed to have a quicker bonding time with their new little ones. Thank you Lord. Also I help with scheduling teachers at church. I had 2 "can't do it" calls and these were situations either while we were gone or right after we get back. I prayed right then (to be honest I have a bad habit of trying to make calls first then if I strike out I pray in desperation after the fact). One prayer I prayed right after talking with the gal. The Lord answered literally as I turned around after praying. Do you ever get that feeling where you feel God is literally carrying you through something. I'm so thankful right now. Remind me later I'm sure I'll need it.
Ok I'm tyring not to seem weird (not sure how else to put that) to some of you but please bear with me; this is how life is for me right now and I want to share it. I'm ok if you think I'm crazy.
This adoption process is helping me to see myself differently in regards to how God sees me. Let me try to explain. We love Sarah. We know we wont always hit the mark of meeting her needs exactly. She will know we love her. We love her in spite of the fact that she will probably come to us feeling hurt, sad, and maybe come kicking and screaming; we hope our hearts are ready for whatever. We will love her. We will be patient if she doesn't like us right away. It will be hard but we will. She wont even understand our language but we will try to teach her slowly.
Ok so how does this relate to seeing myself differently? I had to ask myself today, "If we love Sarah this much...why do I sometimes question how much God cares for, is patient, loves, etc me?"
Really think about it. You, think about adopting a little one. You know they come to you with experiences that you have no control over. You choose them even though you know they may need surgery or have emotional challenges to work through. You want the best for them. Ok so you would love them right? So God adopts us right? I believe the bible is Gods word and it says He "adopts" us: with our hurts and challenges. Not when we "get it right" but when we cry out and say "god forgive me. I can't live without you. I need you. I can't get it right. Help me.
So here is where things are hitting me.
I do question sometimes how deep His love is for me; His intentions for me; His patience with me. He knows I come with baggage. He knows I really have a hard time understanding His language sometimes. He knows that sometimes I just am not going to trust.
Do we really think so highly of ourselves that we think that as parents we can love our kids when they don't trust us but that God doesn't have it in Him? Do we think sometimes that if we would have done something differently that God would "love" us more or "approve" of us more? Can we earn that? Do my kids have to earn that? If they don't earn my love then why do I sometimes feel that I have to earn Gods love? I know I say I don't think that but do I live that? Do I live in the freedom that I am accepted in full because of the faith/trust that "Christ died for sinners" that "if I confess my sins His is faithful and just to forgive me my sins and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness." 1 Jn 1:9 (inserted "I" for "we" in that quote)
Maybe I sometimes feel "far away from God" not because I am not doing things "for" Him but because like parents it's a relationship. It's communication. We come to our parents with our hurts, hopes and talk to them about that stuff (if we have a close connection with them). Sometimes I think that is what I lack with God: not communicating with Him. If I would stop doing things for Him and just talk to Him and LISTEN to Him I would understand better why things are the way they are.
He is so much a better parent. He truly loves us without condition. He provided the price for our "wrongness" inside us; such a gift; to give up a son: Christmas, Emmanuel: God with us. Could you give up a child to save the lives of other people? Would you? Honestly not me, I just don't think I would be able to. Do we still question His intentions for us? He is patient with us. He "causes all things to work for good."Romans 8:28. Thank you Father for being the best parent ever.
" Romans 8:15 "For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons (daughters) by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!"
He is the "Bestest" adoptive parent ever ever ever!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Things are coming together. Lots of little details to figure out. Have a great day.
Here it is:
Adoption Itinerary
December 12th – December 28th
Wednesday, Dec. 12 Depart for Beijing
Flight: NW5
Thursday, Dec.13 Arrive in Beijing
Flight: NW11
Friday, Dec. 14 Free day in Beijing
Saturday, Dec. 15 Beijing Sight-Seeing: Tiananmen Square, Forbidden
City & Great Wall (Lunch & Dinner Included)
Sunday, Dec. 16 Church service & Summer Palace (Lunch & Beijing Duck
Dinner Included)
Evening Flight to Guangzhou
Monday, Dec. 17 Afternoon - Meet Sarah Mae!!
Tuesday, Dec. 18 Civil Affairs Appointment
Dec. 19- Dec. 21 Paperwork, Sight-seeing, & Shopping
Saturday, Dec. 22 Medical Exam
Sunday, Dec. 23 Fill out Consulate Forms
Monday, Dec. 24 Shopping and Sightseeing
Tuesday, Dec. 25 Christmas Day
Wednesday, Dec. 26 Consulate Appointment 10:30 am
Thursday, Dec. 27 Pick up Child’s Visa
Friday, Dec. 28 Depart from Guangzhou
Flight:NW10
Hotel Numbers
Radisson SAS Hotel (Beijing) Phone: 86-10-59223388
- No.A East Beishanhuan Road, Chaoyang District FAX: 86-10-59223399
- www.radissonsas.com
China Hotel Marriott (Guangzhou) Phone: 86-20-86666888
- Liu Hua Road, Guangzhou 510015 FAX: 86-20-86677288
- http://www.marriotthotels.com/
We will have an international calling card adn we have not decided/found out about getting an international plan for our cell phones (but I'm thinking not)
Here it is:
Adoption Itinerary
December 12th – December 28th
Wednesday, Dec. 12 Depart for Beijing
Flight: NW5
Thursday, Dec.13 Arrive in Beijing
Flight: NW11
Friday, Dec. 14 Free day in Beijing
Saturday, Dec. 15 Beijing Sight-Seeing: Tiananmen Square, Forbidden
City & Great Wall (Lunch & Dinner Included)
Sunday, Dec. 16 Church service & Summer Palace (Lunch & Beijing Duck
Dinner Included)
Evening Flight to Guangzhou
Monday, Dec. 17 Afternoon - Meet Sarah Mae!!
Tuesday, Dec. 18 Civil Affairs Appointment
Dec. 19- Dec. 21 Paperwork, Sight-seeing, & Shopping
Saturday, Dec. 22 Medical Exam
Sunday, Dec. 23 Fill out Consulate Forms
Monday, Dec. 24 Shopping and Sightseeing
Tuesday, Dec. 25 Christmas Day
Wednesday, Dec. 26 Consulate Appointment 10:30 am
Thursday, Dec. 27 Pick up Child’s Visa
Friday, Dec. 28 Depart from Guangzhou
Flight:NW10
Hotel Numbers
Radisson SAS Hotel (Beijing) Phone: 86-10-59223388
- No.A East Beishanhuan Road, Chaoyang District FAX: 86-10-59223399
- www.radissonsas.com
China Hotel Marriott (Guangzhou) Phone: 86-20-86666888
- Liu Hua Road, Guangzhou 510015 FAX: 86-20-86677288
- http://www.marriotthotels.com/
We will have an international calling card adn we have not decided/found out about getting an international plan for our cell phones (but I'm thinking not)
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Why does it take several times for me to learn something?
(I'll get to the learning issue in a bit)
This will be a long one, thought I would warn you.
I have stuff I have logged in my head to take and a small gathering of stuff in a pile but I need to pull out the luggage and see what pieces we have! My mom came this week to help with Taylor since I needed to work the night shift. It was great to have her here helping with all sorts of stuff; including wrapping small toys for Taylor from Megan and Gaven for the plane ride.
Thad and I started to charge batteries and found out that we needed new batteries for our camera, camcorder and DVD! We got those today so that is good; some friends let us borrow a DVD with 2 batteries! Getting that done is big for us. We have 2 1/2 inches of snow and it's still falling so I'm glad we went when we did.
Here is a God thing. This is my "need to learn something several times before I get it moment.
We went to Portland today and Thad wanted to go to a knife sale at the other end of town, so we went. Taylor said he had to go potty and I asked a guy who escorted us to the bathroom through a secure area. After that he asked if we wanted to see where he worked (it was only Taylor and I). We went (even though I wanted to get back). At his area he told Taylor what he did. We went to leave and he started to show us pictures of his family (oh boy I thought. We really need to go). He got to his 2 Asian girls and started talking about something else. I asked, "are these your girls?" he said, "yea they are from China". I said wow we leave on the 12th! We talked and he mentioned that in the south we will need masks since it's so humid and polluted. I said something about Taylor’s asthma. I wasn't complaining I just stated that he has asthma although in my heart I have not trusted that God will keep him safe (to my standard). He looked me straight in the eye and said "God got you this far and He will get you and him (Taylor) the rest of the way. You just watch what the Lord does for you. Pray over everything and see how good God is" (something very close to that!) I hadn't said anything about my faith! I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from crying right there! Taylor got sick this week and Taylor getting sick is the one thing that I still worry allot about. He has been in the hospital for pneumonia and asthma related stuff before.
I have stuff I have logged in my head to take and a small gathering of stuff in a pile but I need to pull out the luggage and see what pieces we have! My mom came this week to help with Taylor since I needed to work the night shift. It was great to have her here helping with all sorts of stuff; including wrapping small toys for Taylor from Megan and Gaven for the plane ride.
Thad and I started to charge batteries and found out that we needed new batteries for our camera, camcorder and DVD! We got those today so that is good; some friends let us borrow a DVD with 2 batteries! Getting that done is big for us. We have 2 1/2 inches of snow and it's still falling so I'm glad we went when we did.
Here is a God thing. This is my "need to learn something several times before I get it moment.
We went to Portland today and Thad wanted to go to a knife sale at the other end of town, so we went. Taylor said he had to go potty and I asked a guy who escorted us to the bathroom through a secure area. After that he asked if we wanted to see where he worked (it was only Taylor and I). We went (even though I wanted to get back). At his area he told Taylor what he did. We went to leave and he started to show us pictures of his family (oh boy I thought. We really need to go). He got to his 2 Asian girls and started talking about something else. I asked, "are these your girls?" he said, "yea they are from China". I said wow we leave on the 12th! We talked and he mentioned that in the south we will need masks since it's so humid and polluted. I said something about Taylor’s asthma. I wasn't complaining I just stated that he has asthma although in my heart I have not trusted that God will keep him safe (to my standard). He looked me straight in the eye and said "God got you this far and He will get you and him (Taylor) the rest of the way. You just watch what the Lord does for you. Pray over everything and see how good God is" (something very close to that!) I hadn't said anything about my faith! I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from crying right there! Taylor got sick this week and Taylor getting sick is the one thing that I still worry allot about. He has been in the hospital for pneumonia and asthma related stuff before.
I guess I needed to go to the knife show today!
I needed to here from God through someone that didn't know me; who would speak so blunt to my heart. I feel so blessed that the Lord gave me that today. I told the man that and he (matter of fact) said "Well you're doing what He asks you to do, of course He will show you that." So tonight I'm going to start my "look at what the Lord has done" book so that when I doubt (I do too often) I can remember what He has shown me in His amazing way. I'm sure that I will see patterns that I'm learning the same things over and over again until I get it!!!
FYI: we leave from Portland on the 12th at 12:10pm. We get back at 6:55am on the 28th. We leave there at 8:30am and get back at 6:55am although we will feel like it is 9pm when we get in. If you want to come to the airport when we get back feel free but I'm not sure I could/would at 6:55am! So we will be surprised to see anyone and that is a ok. I will try to update the blog while we are there but I don't know how that will go. I'm not sure what things will be like when we get home either. My mom mentioned that I might want to explain this more so I will try to keep it short.
Sensory integration and attachment disorders are challenges we have been privileged to learn about before picking up Sarah. Most kids fall into the mild category for these "challenges" (that's what I call them since I don't like calling them disorders; it just scares me) Anyway. Attachment "challenges" is the big one at first. Since these kids have been on a schedule since day 3-4 of their lives their needs have not necessary been met in a "timely" fashion. For instance if a diaper is dirty they may be 10th in line and they will get changed then, it just is that way in a large scale orphanage, and 10th maybe a short wait. So the child (vision a circle) has a need (top) they express their need, their need does not get met in a timely fashion, they get angry frustrated or desperate and express that and still the need doesn't get met soon enough if at all. If the need is to be held by someone and there is not time for that it may not get met! This is why (I've been told) she may not want us to touch her at first. So the child does not trust that their needs will get met when they need it. When the need comes up again and again and does not get met the next time it comes up they go straight to the anger/frustration/desperate state and by pass expressing their need. Think of a baby that gets changed and fed when needed. They learn to bond to the people who meet their needs. When you don't learn to bond (bonding leads to attachment) when you are little it is hard to learn it as you get older. The brain starts to loose these connections early (6 months if I remember right) and at sometime they really do cease; that is a very extreme scenario.
Sooo why am I saying this? Sarah will be in the mild end (we hope) since she has had 1 of 3 years of life in foster care and her orphanage is a good one (we have heard). It will take her time to learn that she can trust us with her needs. She needs to see us as the primary "care takers of her needs" so that she bonds with us in hopes that she attaches with us fast. We need to focus on her (and Taylor) for awhile before being in situations where we might miss her cues. 10 steps forward can be demolished by 1 step back. Oh and there is the language thing too. It's not that we don't trust that the Lord will help us see these things it's that many others who have done this before us have shared their wisdom with us and we would be fools to not listen. Other people could care for her needs (play, touch, food, etc) and then she would see everyone as her "caretakers" which would be wonderful but then as she gets older she will have less of an attachment to us and may become confused as to who to be close to. I have a hard time understanding it all but the several people who have shared this with us really have communicated it better than I have here. Does it make sense?
FYI: we leave from Portland on the 12th at 12:10pm. We get back at 6:55am on the 28th. We leave there at 8:30am and get back at 6:55am although we will feel like it is 9pm when we get in. If you want to come to the airport when we get back feel free but I'm not sure I could/would at 6:55am! So we will be surprised to see anyone and that is a ok. I will try to update the blog while we are there but I don't know how that will go. I'm not sure what things will be like when we get home either. My mom mentioned that I might want to explain this more so I will try to keep it short.
Sensory integration and attachment disorders are challenges we have been privileged to learn about before picking up Sarah. Most kids fall into the mild category for these "challenges" (that's what I call them since I don't like calling them disorders; it just scares me) Anyway. Attachment "challenges" is the big one at first. Since these kids have been on a schedule since day 3-4 of their lives their needs have not necessary been met in a "timely" fashion. For instance if a diaper is dirty they may be 10th in line and they will get changed then, it just is that way in a large scale orphanage, and 10th maybe a short wait. So the child (vision a circle) has a need (top) they express their need, their need does not get met in a timely fashion, they get angry frustrated or desperate and express that and still the need doesn't get met soon enough if at all. If the need is to be held by someone and there is not time for that it may not get met! This is why (I've been told) she may not want us to touch her at first. So the child does not trust that their needs will get met when they need it. When the need comes up again and again and does not get met the next time it comes up they go straight to the anger/frustration/desperate state and by pass expressing their need. Think of a baby that gets changed and fed when needed. They learn to bond to the people who meet their needs. When you don't learn to bond (bonding leads to attachment) when you are little it is hard to learn it as you get older. The brain starts to loose these connections early (6 months if I remember right) and at sometime they really do cease; that is a very extreme scenario.
Sooo why am I saying this? Sarah will be in the mild end (we hope) since she has had 1 of 3 years of life in foster care and her orphanage is a good one (we have heard). It will take her time to learn that she can trust us with her needs. She needs to see us as the primary "care takers of her needs" so that she bonds with us in hopes that she attaches with us fast. We need to focus on her (and Taylor) for awhile before being in situations where we might miss her cues. 10 steps forward can be demolished by 1 step back. Oh and there is the language thing too. It's not that we don't trust that the Lord will help us see these things it's that many others who have done this before us have shared their wisdom with us and we would be fools to not listen. Other people could care for her needs (play, touch, food, etc) and then she would see everyone as her "caretakers" which would be wonderful but then as she gets older she will have less of an attachment to us and may become confused as to who to be close to. I have a hard time understanding it all but the several people who have shared this with us really have communicated it better than I have here. Does it make sense?
Anyway I just wanted to share that we really want to share her with everyone ASAP. Believe me it's hard to think of being with her and not interacting with family and friends for awhile like we do now. But it will pass and the more we provide for her needs the more she will trust and the more she trusts the more she will attach to us and when that happens she will know that we love her and she has a mom and a dad!
Oh a brother too but I some how don't guess that he will have her needs in mind most of the time although he tells everyone he meets about her right now!
Oh a brother too but I some how don't guess that he will have her needs in mind most of the time although he tells everyone he meets about her right now!
Last just a thought that came up. She may go to the desperate state quick if not first thing. The people we have talked to say it's embarrassing. She may look like a brat or like we are spoiling her. She needs to know that we will provide for her needs no matter how she expresses them at first. We will first provide for those needs then later when she starts attaching to us we hope to train her to express her needs in an appropriate manner. It will look very different than standard parenting of a child who is attached from birth. We will not do it right all the time. I'm hoping for doing it well 1/2 of the time and I pray that the Lord will help us because we know we can not do this without Him!
Thanks again for being our support through this. Thanks for reading this LONG post! -Becky
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